After Kairos, many retreatants at Mount Carmel walk away with the same realization– that people carry more than they show. The experience does not just bring emotion in the moment, but it changes how people see and treat one another after.
One of the strongest takeaways from my recent Kairos experience was the reminder that everyone is fighting a silent battle.
Math teacher Ms. Samantha Lazzaro said the experience opened her eyes. “You hear stories that you can connect with, even if you haven’t gone through the same thing,” Lazzaro said. “It really opens your eyes to that saying everyone uses, that silent battle people fight, and that’s why you should always treat people the way you want to be treated, because again, you don’t know what anyone is going through.” Hearing stories on the December retreat from both adults and students showed her how easy it is to misunderstand people when their struggles are hidden. For me, hearing the different stories that were shared was kind of a big relief or even something to connect on by knowing not just one person is going through struggle.
This same idea stood out to students. Senior Jett Palmersheim said Kairos revealed “how much there is about so many people in the school that you wouldn’t know unless you had a very deep conversation with them.” Senior Ryan Mielnicki agreed by saying it helped him realize that “everyone has their own struggles, even if you don’t see them on the surface.”
These realizations led to another major take, which is that empathy matters. MC’s Director of Enrollment and baseball coach Mr. Jeff Stur explained that Kairos is a reminder to stop reacting right away and instead ask, “Are you okay?” He said that many times behavior in school is connected to something happening outside of it. “Nine times out of ten, if someone is acting out here, there’s something else going on outside of school connected to it.”
Mielnicki shared that this lesson changed how he approaches others, saying it helps him “not jump to conclusions and assume something about someone.” After attending the retreat, I did take this as a valuable lesson and now understand that I have to really think carefully before I make any interpretations about anyone I meet now and in the future.
Another important takeaway from Kairos was the strong connection between students and teachers. Ms. Lazzaro mentioned her students actually felt safe to talk. “I saw students who were usually very quiet finally open up because they felt safe,” she noted.
She also noticed that students who were usually quiet began sharing while others reflected honestly on why they acted the way they did. Mr. Stur said Kairos allows staff to see students on a different level and helps build bonds that last beyond the retreat. Personally having that deeper connection with your teachers that you basically have seen everyday since freshman year feels really good that there are things you can connect with them on then other than school.
My fellow students felt this connection as well. Mielnicki shared that the retreat continues to affect how he now sees others. “I’m now not gonna jump to conclusions and assume something about someone,” he said. That was a big thing I did, often assuming or judging people before actually sitting down and getting to know them. Mr. Stur echoed this, saying Kairos is “always a reminder to be empathetic and understanding of people’s situations.”
Palmersheim also shared that hearing others stories helped him gain another perspective on his own actions. Perhaps the most meaningful takeaway from Kairos was how it changed people after it ended. Ms. Lazzaro said that while some students experience a short “Kai High,” others continue reflecting long after, and some of it sticks with them long after. Students noticed this change in themselves, too. Palmersheim said Kairos gave him another perspective on his current actions. “It makes you second guess or rethink what you’re about to do,” he said, “because someone else might be doing the same thing in a totally different situation.”
Kairos may only last up to four days, but personally it can make you grow so much in a small number of days that would have you so surprised and shocked. By showing empathy, and seeing beyond the surface, Kairos leaves behind something meaningful, and a stronger, more understanding school community.
